for anyone who thinks having children and being afforded any amount of time to stay home with them is a luxury – one that allows for space and time to work on all the things you always wanted to, but never seemed to find the time for – think again. just, stop. it’s a fantasy.
i mean, go ahead and have your own ideas and assumptions, just know, they might be terribly wrong.
finding the time, and i feel the need to emphasize, uninterrupted time, is like finding a four leaf clover among the outfield in a baseball diamond. having been temporarily laid off, i have the biggest urge to write. and garden. and bake. all things which i enjoy to do, on my own. uninterrupted. the flow is different when it’s not being asked to dam up.
now – i don’t want to discount or neglect to say, that i know i say all of this from a very fortunate place of privilege.
take what you will, to each their own, from anything i write.
i love my children – i really really do – but i wasn’t meant to be a teacher and mother to them 24/7. there’s something to be said about growing up on your own, and among others.
another time, another blog post. perhaps.
unfortunately by the time they’ve gone to bed, so has the sun on the backyard.
i realize that it’s purely impatience on my part. as if, this time, and the unknown of it’s longevity brings the need to complete all on my to-do list, as soon as humanly possible. still unclear where little siddall studios is going to go – but for now – at the very least – the writing has come back – a little while anyways, and for however long, we never know.
i’ve always romanticized the idea of living on a hobby farm. i’d need help though – a lot of it. i realize this. half jokingly i bring it up in conversation rather frequently to see if it sparks the fancy of anyone around me just so i can keep a running tally of folks to call upon should i ever find myself with 50+ acres.
Josh has been working away in the backyard for me. I say “working away” and “for me” because as many times as I ask him, he says it doesn’t seem to bring him any joy – only joy in knowing that it ultimately brings me joy.
i’ll take it.
for now – i leave you with the, somewhat, before photo – pictured above and a hope that in a few months time it will look drastically different and with some growth, the vegetable kind, showing.
happy thursday – wherever you are.
